It is a better day...and that is a nice change of pace. Life has definitely been a little different over the last 3 weeks. The steroids have started to kick in, and that is good and bad. The good news...some of the secondary symptoms of sarcoidosis are reduced. Less night sweats, some relief in my chest, fewer coughing fits, and general momentum in the right direction. The bad news...my temper is shorter, I am developing "moon face" - which is really cool, I have some trouble sleeping - thank you meds, nausea, my heart pounds out of my chest, and I think my brain function is decreased, but maybe I am just a little more distracted by all the goings on. Sweet.
It is a slow process. Like I said, today is a better day, but I have had to come home early from work a couple times for naps, my energy level is way reduced, I need to take a break after fast walking through a sprinkler with my 3 year old twice, two flights of stairs is too much, and I just can't do much at all. God is working on my patience. I can't stand watching life go by with my wife and girls as I am too tired to take part. Brooke mows the lawn, takes care of me, does everything for the girls, cleans out the trailer, runs the errands, builds the patio, and on and on, and I sit on the side. There have been a couple days where I try to do anything and Brooke tells me I turn green. Awesome.
God is strong in my weakness. Apparently, my weakness may to last for a while. The doctor has said that it may be 2 years before I feel relatively back to normal based on the amount of stuff that was going on in my chest and lungs. We go to National Jewish Hospital on May 28 for more information on sarcoidosis and what life may look like. I also get to go to the eye doctor on June 11 for an evaluation. I have been told that I need to have the opthamologist on speed dial in case I lose color or start seeing spots. Joy.
But like I said, today is a better day. I walked 5 flights of stairs at work (don't tell Brooke) with a little break, I was able to help with dinner (gourmet hot dogs and broccoli - I love grilling in the summer - thanks Todd and Joe for the Omaha Steaks - I had no idea how good hot dogs could be), and I even got to water plants tonight (I know mom would have been proud). I'll take days like today. It was better than yesterday, and that's how I know God is working in me. Little by little, he is helping to change me, both my health and my heart. I am grateful today for my family, and especially my amazing wife, and the love and support they give. I am indebted to those who have helped me in many ways. And I am looking forward to tomorrow and what it brings. Good.
5 comments:
Mark,
You do have an amazing wife!! You are amazing too! I am so proud of you and how you are making it through each day, and how you are planning on how you are going to make it through tomorrow, you and Brooke together-each step of the way! You are an amazing man and I thank God that I am blessed with you in my life!
Love you bud,
Mom
I am glad you had a good day today! Hang in there and know there are lots of people praying for you and your family! You have an amazing wife and 2 amazing little girls that will help along with God to get you through this trying time! God Bless
Ashley
It is hard to suddenly have one's health taken from you.
I have had this in various ways; one way was last summer - I broke my foot and was laid up for most of the summer - I could not stand to cook, could not work, could not even leave the apartment by myself due to how the door worked (could not open it and get out with crutches). I could not easily get up and talk to whoever I wanted at church. Everything was done for me - I had to trust people on new levels, had to be vulnerable, and realized how hard humility is. To not assert myself, to wait for others; Patience. It is hard.
When I started walking again, after two months of being in bed, I was incredibly weak. The exhaustion was more than I expected - what used to be a breeze would lead me to need sleep.
I learned more about the compassion of Christ. How tender He is in the Gospels when He is interacting with those who are ill.
Christ is with us, even when we feel alone, isolated by having an illness that others have not lived through. You are never alone, nor is Brooke when she carries more of the load. Mark, your load is just as real, it is just unexpected, as now you are having to carry your own body.
My small prayers.
Mark and Brooke, you're positive attitude is so inspiring. I'm so glad you're seeing some progress and were able to have a better day. Love you guys and are keeping you in our prayers.
I didn't actually mean "you are" (you're) positive attitude. I actually meant "YOUR" --sheesh, sorry about that!
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