Sunday, May 3, 2009

in weakness we will be strong

mark and i had a great morning talking about how God is using this current journey in our life . mark's devotional this am was about weakness and how it is in that place we can find TRUE strength in Christ... my husband is AMAZING!! here he sits with a huge diagnosis thrown his way, and he feels blessed. he told me today that he has always been good at "doing", & now God is going to help him grow in sharing. ..
we spent a long time this morning praying, and talking through how we have been carried by Christ through this time. it is in his perfect timing that we are being taken down this path. we need to walk down it no matter how hard or scary and trust God. we know this is God's plan for our life. we need to be stripped of our own false sense of control and power. we need to be broken so that he can rebuild us. this process is what he wants because he loves us and is not done with us and wants us to be closer to him.
what a gift!!!
mark is not feeling much better since starting the steroids. we know this is going to be a slow process. the doctors said to expect 2 years before mark in in remission. it is so hard to see him not able to do things he wants to do. watching him tire out so easily is something i will never get used to. i am praying that each day his body will respond to the medication and soon he will be able to start feeling more like himself. the hard part is we are unsure what that is now. will he ever feel like he used to....the doctors say there most likely will be permanent damage done to him lungs from this flareup...but what that means we are not sure.
i am nervous for mark this week, he is planning on heading into work and just seeing how it goes. i just don't want him to push himself too hard, and counteract any progress the medication is doing. mark's boss has been AMAZING!! we are so thankful for him to have a company stand by him through this time! i did not go into work tonight. mark said he was not ready for me to be gone. i also did not feel emotionally or physically ready..
we have so many little things that satan is throwing at us right now . in the midst of accepting this diagnosis, we are worried how financially we are going to cover the outrageous medical bills of kinley's surgery last week and now mark's condition. our plumbing is acting up, marks check engine light came on again, the sliding glass door is deciding to give out.... you can see satan trying so hard to make us feel defeated and broken. we have trust GOD WILL PROVIDE!! i normally am a control freak, who needs a plan and never wants to ask or admit when i need help, but God is working in me...i really have a peace that i have never had before. it is so amazing to see him working so evidently!
mark was wanting to blog today...but was a little more tired then he had hoped. i hope tomorrow he will!! i know God is going to use him to touch so many people's lives!
we love you all!
if you have time listen to the first 2 songs at the bottom on the blog on my playlist...these have so witnessed to us today!


Judy Hopkins said...

Hi Mark & Brooke, So glad Jen hooked us up with your blog. We have been praying since we first got the prayer need from church last week.Tough news for your family for sure.From your post we can see our Lord is carrying you and giving you peace. We will pray for renewed strength for you Mark and protection from Satan's attacks. It's so great to hear of your love and support for each other.Your daughters are beautiful! So thankful grandpa & grandma G could come to help. Dave & Judy

Mandy Stevenson said...

Beautiful. Everything about you two, Beautiful.

Prokosch Family said...

The two of you are just amazing, it will be a long hard road but you have such strong faith and love you will get through this battle. Look at it like a marathon and everyday is another mile you have past! I will be praying for you continually and if you need anything we would be happy to help!

jaime said...

All I can say is OMG, you guys are amazing people, and I just want to grow with you guys! Your family is so sweet and people we need to be around. You do need to reach out for help and we are here for whatever you guys need! We will ALWAYS have your amazing family in our prayers!
We love ya!

Sparky said...


It is so good to read thru your blog. Sometimes it feels so hard to deal with everything life throws at you, but please know you won't have more than you can bear - that is a PROMISE! We've been there ourselves. At times over the last 8 years, Molly & I have had a lot to handle, with our lives, depression, our boys' health, financially, our home, our jobs, our parents and probably more I'm forgetting. But the Lord HAS BEEN FAITHFUL! I believe we are better off for it. We have been stretched - at times as much as I think we could possibly be pulled, but then now, it seems we could be stretched even farther.

We are praying for you all! It is okay to let go and let God take control. If we truly step back and think about it, God is the one pushing the real lawn mower. We are just walking along side Him pushing our toy mower, thinking we are "doing" so much, when in fact, we are doing nothing and He is doing everything! When we see it this way, it doesn't matter what we do. It just matters that we are connected with Him!