mark and i had a great morning talking about how God is using this current journey in our life . mark's devotional this am was about weakness and how it is in that place we can find TRUE strength in Christ... my husband is AMAZING!! here he sits with a huge diagnosis thrown his way, and he feels blessed. he told me today that he has always been good at "doing", & now God is going to help him grow in sharing. ..
we spent a long time this morning praying, and talking through how we have been carried by Christ through this time. it is in his perfect timing that we are being taken down this path. we need to walk down it no matter how hard or scary and trust God. we know this is God's plan for our life. we need to be stripped of our own false sense of control and power. we need to be broken so that he can rebuild us. this process is what he wants because he loves us and is not done with us and wants us to be closer to him.
what a gift!!!
mark is not feeling much better since starting the steroids. we know this is going to be a slow process. the doctors said to expect 2 years before mark in in remission. it is so hard to see him not able to do things he wants to do. watching him tire out so easily is something i will never get used to. i am praying that each day his body will respond to the medication and soon he will be able to start feeling more like himself. the hard part is we are unsure what that is now. will he ever feel like he used to....the doctors say there most likely will be permanent damage done to him lungs from this flareup...but what that means we are not sure.
i am nervous for mark this week, he is planning on heading into work and just seeing how it goes. i just don't want him to push himself too hard, and counteract any progress the medication is doing. mark's boss has been AMAZING!! we are so thankful for him to have a company stand by him through this time! i did not go into work tonight. mark said he was not ready for me to be gone. i also did not feel emotionally or physically ready..
we have so many little things that satan is throwing at us right now . in the midst of accepting this diagnosis, we are worried how financially we are going to cover the outrageous medical bills of kinley's surgery last week and now mark's condition. our plumbing is acting up, marks check engine light came on again, the sliding glass door is deciding to give out.... you can see satan trying so hard to make us feel defeated and broken. we have trust GOD WILL PROVIDE!! i normally am a control freak, who needs a plan and never wants to ask or admit when i need help, but God is working in me...i really have a peace that i have never had before. it is so amazing to see him working so evidently!
mark was wanting to blog today...but was a little more tired then he had hoped. i hope tomorrow he will!! i know God is going to use him to touch so many people's lives!
we love you all!
if you have time listen to the first 2 songs at the bottom on the blog on my playlist...these have so witnessed to us today!